Dear Beloveds.
I am absolutely loving this exploration of the Five States of Awareness. My understanding of, and engagement with, these awarenesses have dramatically impacted my personal life. They have become a doorway into my own consciousness, allowing me to see more clearly my behavior and the beliefs that underlie them.
To illustrate, I want to invite you into a day of my life in spring, 2011. I was in the final days of the first year of Practitioner Training, and I had a great many balls in the air.. I was working full time, taking a challenging class, trying to make time for my fiancé and caring for our collective brood of five children and a whole pack of animals. And friends, I was doing it! Every assignment was done well and turned in on time. I earned a promotion at work and continued to excel. My relationship was easily the most nurturing romantic experience I had ever been a part of. I was handling it all myself. And then...something went wrong. One of my kids had a serious health crisis, one I could not fix. One of the balls I was juggling dropped. Her extended hospital stay, combined with difficult family dynamics around health and money, had more balls falling to the ground. Within a just a few days, I was an exhausted, sobbing mess. I had finally found the circumstance I couldn't manage from the Victor state.
I used to get rather irritated when people would suggest that something falling apart is a miracle, an opening for Spirit to step into. But something about my studies that year had cracked open something new in me, a fresh potential. For perhaps the first time ever, I truly surrendered the entire experience to God. Troward said that we can surrender from a lesser to a greater Intelligence. In that moment I couldn't help but see that I did not have the answers. I was the lesser intelligence, and I needed the Divine -- the Infinite Intelligence -- to swoop in and heal this situation. I gave it all over.
And friends, I survived. I made my way through the panic and fear, the exhaustion, the self-doubt and the anger. I learned how to best help my child, how to support her in this new reality. I figured out how to let go of what was never mine and give it back to Source. That was 16 years ago. I've had to relearn this lesson a few times, going deeper with each surrender. I don't tell you this to look sacred or special in any way, because I'm not. I'm not any different than any other person on this Earth. All of us have the opportunity to move from Victor to a new state of awareness -- Vessel, allowing Spirit to work THROUGH us. I hope you'll be with us on Sunday as we explore the third state of awareness in "Mission Surrender."
Many Blessings,
Rev. Lezli
Question for Contemplation:
Where am I willing to let a Greater Intelligence take over?
